And today she burns


I was informed today that one of our colleagues has burnt his wife and that she is lying near death in the hospital. He threw alcohol at her while she was cooking and set fire to her in front of their teenage daughter.  His wife had told him that she wanted a divorce.

Of course what is extremely painful for me is the fact that I know the man very well, since we have been working together and though I don’t know his wife, I pain for her since I am a woman.  But my question is: do men also see this as an act unworthy of a decent man, and do other people find that this is just intolerable.

I ask this because since the word of this horrible thing has been out, I have collected different reactions from people who have heard of it and I am wondering whether I might be overeacting.  Some men think, that she brought this upon herself since she angered her husband, and some say that she had been creating this situation over time and he did not have any choice.  Others are shocked but by the middle of the day, they just got on with their daily work, and for others again it was a splendid story to share with friends and see how much others knew of the story.

From all that I wondered – is that what happens where someone is struck by tragedy, I mean by dinner time everyone has forgotten about you and your misfortune and no one, thinks of how to help you.  Tonight, as my family and I sit for dinner, I think of that woman and how she must be suffering alone in her bed, and I think of the child who saw that event, and I think of the husband and If he is feeling sorry for what he did.  What do you think?

The aliens abducted grandma


, , ,


I’ve been away far too long with words and stories hanging in my mind getting lost and not being able to get them on the page has been frustrating for me but we cannot always choose how life goes.

I lost my aunt lately, she was a cancer patient, and we knew if was coming but anyway it is a shock to loose a loved close one and in such a way.  The fact is she was living with her mother my grandma for the past 30 years or so and when she departed the question arose to whom would the responsibility go.  Grandma is 87 yrs old in quite good health and with an excellent mind and sight.  As her other children would not get into the trouble of looking after her and she is not the kind that would accept to go to a home, I had to tag along with my family.  My husband, fortunately is someone quite affable who doesn’t quite mind, but my daughter of 21 is another story you can guess.

First I found out that now grandma needs someone to help her bath every morning, so we conveniently looked for someone who would help in the morning and who will stay with her during the day until we come back from work.  At night we have to keep a light on in the bathroom and in her room, because she cannot sleep in the dark.  Actually she is afraid of almost everything: going out of the door, going to the bathroom, using the phone, watching the tv, etc.  I kept wondering if that was the person I used to know and how come she changed into this frightened mouse.  One thing actually apart from her constant fears which also surprised me is her constant eating craze.  Now that’s something, I never knew her to be such an eating fan!

I know I shouldn’t do that but I keep looking for the grandma I used to know in this person who now lives with me and I just don’t find her anywhere.  Does time make this to us, or do we do it to ourselves just to stay away fears of the unknown or is it just solitude that brings out the worst that we kept hidden all these years.  The other grandma was someone who loved to read, who always was having new stories to keep my imagination fertile, who was a good cook and good at sewing, loved to talk and was open to understanding what was happening around her.  I mean I would understand if now her mind was blurred or other, but no, that the thing, apart from being a bit deaf, her mind is as sharp as you and I.  I would so much like to talk to her as we did before for hours on end and she would always manage to surprise me with her knowledge and experience of life.  I simply can’t find that in her now.  I did not only lose a friend in my late aunt, but I also lost my grandma to the aliens.  That’s the only explanation I can find for what is happening.

Do you think that’s what awaits us in a few years?  My god please  save me from myself!

The sleep-over friend


, , ,

          Hi, we received during the week-end one of my daughter’s friend and she came to sleep over for two nights- actually that’s what her mom told me on the phone.  Let’s get it straight, we live in Mauritius, and the life here is not what it is in Europe or elsewhere where sleeping over at a friend’s is very very usual.  It happens but on very rare occasions are I suppose it happens when the families know each other.

Well you see my daughter wanted me to call the mom of this girlfriend to tell her mom that I was going to receive her daughter at MY place for two nights(because apparently that’s what the girl wanted).  I told my daughter that if someone else’s child wants to stay with us, then the parent should call ME, and not the other way round.  My daughter sulked at bit and asked me what she was to say to her friend- I told her to repeat my request.  I guess that’s what she did, and she told me the mom was to cal me.  Now, I don’t know this family, I don’t know the girl, and from what I learnt they live at Mahebourg, that’s very far from us, it’s almost one hour’s drive, if you have a car.  These people don’t know us and they send their 19 year old daughter to stay with us without coming to see where I live- well I must be pretty convincing on the phone then.  Well actually the mom did call on Friday night and she talked well and she said her daughter was to stay for two nights, and on Sunday both girls (that is mine and hers) were to go to a party at another town.

The girl did come, first thing I noted was that she kept close to daughter, barely said hello, and kept to my daughter’s room ALL the time.  Now that was weird, ’cause it seemed she was akward at our being there, my husband and I.  The only time we talked to her was at the dining table and she answered the barest possible, and what annoys me, she never never keeps eye contact(I hate that).

This morning my daughter tells me, that Beverly will sleep at another friend’s place tonight, instead of at our place (and Beverly who is beside her, does not even look at me, she stands demurely looking down).  I ask her if she has told her mom, and of course she nods again without looking at me.

When she does look at me- she kisses me tells me in a go- “Oh I loved staying here, I’ll surely come back, and Shailee(that’s my daughter), will come to stay at my place, of course.”  To which I instantly replied, thank you for coming over, but I don’t think Shailee will come over.  THEN she looks straight at me, and asks me in direct tone, “really, and why?”.  I could’t say that I didn’t approve of sleeping overs at different people’s places, since she might have felt offended, so I looked for a different argument and replied, that it would still be no.  She would have made a stand and continued to argue, if I had not said bye and that I’d see her again.

With all the bad things going on at this day and age, people still don’t mind their children’s going out with anybody or just anywhere, I just don’t understand.  And it that’s modernity, well I am just not ready to be that modern yet.

Bye Beverly, and I hope I don’t see you soon.

Back to work- Work Addiction


, , , , ,

Hi there, I was on leave from the office and from life in general for the past week or so- because I have had three teeth removed.  Let me explain the operation since it is cost me around Rs30,000/- and left me without three of my prized teeth.

But the thing is that during my so to say sick leave I was supposed to lie back and get well – well I was surprised to see that I missed my office.  I missed the lies and back biting and histrionics and what not.  I missed on all the little unfavourable stories that had been going on behind my back – concerning me of course! but also concerning others ! and that’s what I missed most.  The bitchiness of certain colleagues is just too much, like delicious desert after a good meal- so when I resumed my much missed place of work that was the first thing I started to ask about- the last bit of infos.

I did not have to ask a lot to glean information, it was coming to me free and ready to burst.  Someone had forgotten to ask them to keep their mouth shut!  Well actually I did not know that I was experiencing what is called work addiction.  Yes, you probably don’t know also that we do get addicted to work, since it’s the environment which we live in for most of our awake hours and we resent to go back to what we are not used to, like home.

So next time you get really furious at work, don’t forget- they are your first family!!!

loto winner

What would you do if you won at the loto?  I would  first of all sack my boss and then  I would leave work, and go for a long trip- long drive if you see what I mean?

No you don’t? Let me explain, Iwould first of all say goodbye to my life as I know it today – for instance I’ll ask my husband to come with me for long walks, since there will be no need for him to work either and I thing my studies will be able to be postponed.  I’ll take my dear daughter to shop more often which means we’ll manage to spend more time together while spending more money.  I’ll take a ticket to take me far away from my mother, and I’ll bundle my grandma along with a new wheelchair so that she wll stop bugging me and others with petty ramblings.  And I’m sure the old crone will start crying for her home after three days.  Now she cries that she is not going out often enough- and I have to ensure that it is done!

Wonderful dreams  if they do come true, I’ll sure let you guys know.

Attirer l’homme

La femme moderne a voulu trouver sa liberte mais elle s’est battue un peu trop fort, puisque la voila avec TOUTE sa liberte mais toute seule!  Eh bien, voila le hic!, puisque ce qu’elle voulait, veut a tout prix, toujours,  c’est d’etre seule sans l’etre vraiment.  Alors me direz- vous comment si prendre- eh bien tout simplement – en ne faisant plus peur aux hommes, c’est a dire en restant simple et naturel.  Mais me direz-vous “c’est ce que font la plupart des femmes!”.  Eh bien non mesdames, etant moi-meme l’une d’entre vous je dirais que nous passons notre temps a cacher ce que nous sommes vraiment.  En fin de compte ce que nous devenons c’est une image de ce que nous sommes et comment voulez-vous que l’homme nous reconnaisse et se sente attirer, alors pour aller jusqu’a aimer la cote est plus rude.

Il y a aussi des femmes qui se trimment a chercher l’homme qu’elle voudrait avoir, mais qui refusent d’aimer celui qui est amoureux d’elles.  Idee saugrenue que de courir apres l’interdit, mais c’est la nature des hommes, ou bien des femmes.  On croit que quand on a obtenue ce qui fut une grande bataille ce sera oblige un belle histoire- combien se sont trompes dans cette voie.  Regarder ce qui est plus proche de vous et essayer de trouver ce que serait la vie avec la personne qui vous temoigne de l’amitie, ou de l’amour sans necessairement chercher “The man”.

Il y a aussi c’elles qui on la chance d’avoir trouver la perle rare, mais qui continue de chercher et se trouve attirer par les specimens plus viriles.  Eh bien mesdames c’est ce qu’on appelle le fantasmes.  Celui qui vous aimera et vous fera vibrer n’est pas celui avec qui vous vivrez heureuse toute la vie- c’est comme c’a.  Peut-etre meme que vous lui serez reconnaissante de vous avoir quitte ou de ne point vous avoir epousailler, car le prince charmant est souvent un pietre mari et ne veut surement pas d’enfants.

Mais en depit de tout; les femmes seront attirees par les hommes qu’il ne faut pas-eh bien :- c’est la vie!!

18th birthday

We are nearing the 18th birthday of my daughter and I would like to share certain thoughts with her that I hope she will read one day.  I write this incognito and without her being aware that I am assigning these notes for her, so that in time, she will find them and it will comfort her in difficult moments.

Like all mothers  I would like you- my darling to have all the best in the world, or at least to be able to find true love and happiness, just like I have.  But I would not wish you to go through the roads I have had to travel to find it.

When I was a little girl, life was not fun, or happy but I had certain convictions which I thought would help me get through life, like they helped me get through my bumpy childhood, and later in an also bumpy early adulthood.

First of all little girl secure an education because whatever be the time, the century or the country women who are educated only are free.  And you will learn that freedom is dearer than life, at least that’s what it has always seemed to me.  Freedom to love, to talk, to think, well to live.  You will find that I am not pressing upon money, though I definitely will advise you to manage to save some- because time is money, and time does not come back.  But money cannot give peace or happiness, you need it only to buy comfort and security for you and your loved ones.

On your birthday you will be known to the world as an adult, but to your family and friends you will remain the child and adolescent we have always known.  But what you need to keep in mind is that in spite of being who you are to us, the world around you will start reeling at an intense speed and all that is allowed to adults will be open to you, and new relationships will beckon with open arms.  Don’t forget where you come from, who you are and what you believe in, -because that will never change, and in time of burden it is the only light that will shine in the dark.  Follow that light always and hear its voice, its the first voice that speaks when you are about to decide upon something, and it is the surest.  All second thoughts and advices are misleading.

Happy birthday dear I hope god sees you through.